Let’s Talk Facebook Etiquette
When it comes to giving wedding gifts, dressing for interviews, drinking tea, writing thank-you letters, and an endless array of other social situations where proper etiquette is desirable, Emily Post’s Etiquette might just be the official American canon of Etiquette. The fact that the book’s latest edition includes several new chapters on online activity, social networking, and digital communication etiquette is a sign that etiquette is very much a dynamic standard. More importantly, though, it’s a sign that digital communication—Facebook , for example—has become such a significant and serious part of our lives that it demands inclusion in the canonical discussion of etiquette.
According to Fox News, the latest edition of the book confirms some common sense expectations about handling email correspondence, for example. “Etiquette” says that you should respond to personal emails within two days and to business correspondence within 24 hours. While it’s good to keep that knowledge in the back of our minds, in reality, most of us already respond to emails very quickly. Still, larger business and big companies who take forever to respond might want to skim through Post’s new book for an etiquette tip or two.
When it comes to Facebook, Emily’s advice might seem counterintuitive to many, but in the end, it comes as a relief. According to the book, Facebook users aren’t obligated to respond to every friend request. What a relief. We’ve all gotten undesirable friend requests from family members, coworkers, or, simply, annoying people that we don’t want to let into our cyber social space! Recent changes to Facebook now allow users to delete unwanted requests, instead of just ignoring them or leaving them in, what was colloquially known as, Facebook quarantine.
In fact, the etiquette guidelines not only permit rejecting friend requests, but they also permit unfriending (AKA, defriending). In other words, having contacted an old lost friend or family member once, there’s no rule that says that person must forever have access to your Facebook profile and social activity. Indeed, regularly unfriending low-contact friends and acquaintances is an easy way to protect your online Internet security—the less people have access to your account, the less you risk your information falling in the wrong hands.
For many of us, this might seem a little odd. After all, one of the biggest reasons we accept annoying friend requests is our fear of being judged or a sense of guilt. We shouldn’t feel guilty at all, though. Requests require approval for a reason—they’re not mandatory. Also, never feel guilty or embarrassed about untagging yourself from a photo or link that you don’t like. The same applies to posting photos. If the photos aren’t of your event, then don’t post them unless you have permission.
For a more detailed analysis of etiquette, in general, and online etiquette—or netiquette as some call it—check out the latest Post edition, all 736 pages of it.
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